The holidays can be a stressful time of the year especially if you are living with a mental health condition or extreme state. I am learning more and more about the power and impact of semantics when it comes to mental wellness and how simple words can lead to a well of misunderstanding or a wealth of knowledge. Walking this fine line, however, can lead one to open Pandora’s box, and I am not going to venture there today.
Thanksgiving begins the holiday season that some welcome and others shun. Everyone has his or her own unique perspective regarding this time of the year, but I am one who welcomes this festive time. In the not so distant past, the holiday season lead me towards the darkness and also towards the light depending on the date and year. Over the last eighteen years, I have been hospitalized on, around, or during Thanksgiving three times alone; and if I added the Christmas and New Year holiday, I would be approaching the double digits. This is a blunder that I would wish on no one!
When you are locked up on an inpatient psychiatric unit, the whole outside world seems like a million miles away, and your immediate future is left in the hands of uncertainty. The culmination of this leads to an indescribable pit in one’s stomach; only to be intensified by the holiday cheer that you know is in abundance somewhere out there. In many circumstances hospital staff try, with their best intentions, to create a happy environment that includes all of the trimmings of a Thanksgiving meal. But you know your family is just about to sit down for dinner, and there is an empty seat at the table. This is when the strings of your heart begin to pull.
After some time, you realize that everyone else around you, walking in the hallways of the unknown, is in the exact same ship as you are. Some just arriving and some being discharged as you are being admitted. This builds some camaraderie but it is limited. As limited as it is, I have found HOPE in these strangers, who quickly became distant relatives. If one survives this journey, that HOPE can be cultivated and shared with others.
Today, I am grateful and thankful for my parents, my wife, my children, my siblings, and the rest of my immediate family. I had the good fortune of sharing an early Thanksgiving meal with them this past weekend, as my sister and her children were visiting from Germany. For if it were not for their unconditional love and support, there is a good chance that I would not be sharing this Thanksgiving story with you. May your heart be full during this holiday season, and may you and your family be blessed!